The Bye Bye Man Blu-ray Review

Written by Gabino Iglesias

Blu-ray released by Universal Studios Home Entertainment

Directed by Stacy Title
Written by Jonathan Penner
2017, 96 minutes, Rated PG-13
Blu-ray released on April 11th, 2017

Starring:
Douglas Smith as Elliot
Lucien Laviscount as John
Cressida Bonas as Sasha

 

Review:

I’m calling this a fuck you review, so if you have a thing for language, stop reading now. Still here? Good, let’s get to the part of the review where I try to offer you a perfectly objective synopsis so we can then move on to more important things.

In The Bye Bye Man, three college students, a couple and a close male friend of the boyfriend move in together into a creepy house off-campus. As soon as they move in, weird things start to happen and they inadvertently conjure up the spirit/demon/thing known as the Bye Bye Man, who gets into their heads and makes them do bad things.

Okay, so let’s start checking boxes in the trope list:
Three good looking youngsters. Check.
Creepy house. Check.
Eerie, almost illegible, creepy scribbling semi hidden in the house. Check.
Girl blacking out and drawing (amazingly well!) a bizarre, dark being. Check.
Vague hints at a love triangle and a jealous main character. Check.
Goth weirdo gal who sees things and can talk to spirits. Check.
A séance in the aforementioned creepy house. Check.
Concerned older brother who gets there too late. Check.
Looking up the history of the evil presence in a computer and/or library. Check.
People seeing things that aren’t there. Check.
Skeptical cop. Check.
Showing the monster and said monster being so crappy that it makes viewers say “What? Fuuuuuck yooooou.” Check.
Bland ending that almost feels like the threat of an unnecessary remake no one will ever ask for. Check.

I could go on all day, but you get the point. Want to know a few other things that made me go “Fuck you”? Well, the guy who was the Bye Bye Man’s previous victim breaks into a house and kills two women with a shotgun...and we don’t see a single drop of blood. There’s also a promising scene where a train runs into a girl...and we don’t see a drop of blood. It felt like the folks who made this wanted to hold on to that PG-13 rating at all costs, and they managed to do it. Oh, and basically the Bye Bye Man (God, I hope this review is the last time I have to write that name) is responsible for things like Columbine and probably every other wacko out there with a gun.

This movie is what happens when you take a bad idea, put it all into an awful, disjointed script that should never have been made into a movie, and then do exactly that. Furthermore, let me give you all filmmakers a tip: The rules for showing me a monster and showing me your genitalia are the same; if it's not mind-blowing, don't show it to me. In this movie, the...Man has no real back story, reason to be there, or anything else. Then, when it is finally shown, he’s nothing but an ugly dude in a hoodie who owns a weird, big, mangy dog. Okay, let’s do this one together, lovely friends: “Fuuuuuuck yooooou!”

If all of the things said above are not enough to keep you away from this film, then you deserve to watch it. You deserve to watch it and then watch it again. Now, here’s a new tagline for the movie: Don’t think it. Don’t say it. Don’t fucking watch it.

 

Video and Audio:

The video presentation sports a clean, crisp image even in dark scenes. The audio is standard with a decent mix that prevents anything from overpowering the conversations, music, or ambient sounds.

 

 Special Features:

The coolest special feature is the ability to watch the movie digitally in any device you want with a code.

 the bye bye man 08

Grades:

Movie: zerostars Cover
Cover
Cover
Video:
Audio:
Features:
Overall: 1 Star Rating

 

About The Author
Gabino Iglesias
Staff Writer
Gabino lives in Austin, Texas, where he reads an inordinate amount of books and pens down reviews only for the big bucks he makes doing so. When he was about 12, his mother would tell him that reading all the H.P. Lovecraft and Poe would not lead to anything good. Being on the staff page at HorrorTalk is the confirmation of that.
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