Krampus: The Reckoning Movie Review
Written by Steven Wood
Released by Uncork'd Entertainment
Directed by Robert Conway
Written by Robert Conway and Owen Conway
2015, 90 minutes, Not Rated
DVD released on November 3rd, 2015
Monica Engesser as Dr. Rachel Stewart
Amelia Haberman as Zoe
James Ray as Det. Miles O'Connor
When Zoe’s foster parents are murdered, child psychologist Dr. Rachel Stewart works with Zoe and the police on a strange, twisted case.
A Christmas horror movie, eh? Consider me intrigued; throw in Krampus and I’m downright excited. I’m also downright confused as to how this could have been as bad as it was; I’ll try to explain the best as I can.
Like with most Christmas movies, we start out with an old person reading to a kid, but for some reason this old lady says fuck the Yuletide spirit and decides to tell her granddaughter possibly the scariest tale that can ever be told during Christmas – the story of Krampus. So he’s the anti-Santa, for lack of a better word, but I think the writer got the facts a little bit twisted. The way I understand it is that Krampus will come after the kids on the “naughty list”. But instead of the traditional lump of coal left in the stocking, he’ll kill the little bastards. What went wrong here is that Zoe, our little orphan girl, is using Krampus to kill bad people...which kind of goes against the entire mythology.
Other than the Krampus part of the plot, Krampus: The Reckoning fails on basically all levels. Well, the practical effects are beautiful, but are severely outweighed by the incredibly bad CGI. Seriously, I laughed when I first saw the Krampus, and after a little while I was looking forward to this weird cross between claymation and CGI to hit the screen.
The cast is just as bad as everything else; the acting is atrocious and everyone is very monotonous in tone and line delivery. On top of that, the dialogue is at many times mumbled or drowned out by the score or sound effects.
A couple other things worth noting would be the fact that besides Krampus himself, there is almost no mention of the Christmas holiday whatsoever; not even the date in which the story is taking place. Lastly, the amount of coincidences between Dr. Rachel and Zoe are about as nonsensical as the CGI decisions when it came to animating Krampus. I don’t want to spoil too much here, but Dr. Rachel has a foster child for herself, and she is also an orphan, not to mention she has a connection with Krampus. Things get a little bit too convenient by the time this mess is over.
Since Christmas is approaching faster than I’d like, and if you’re just dying to watch a scary Christmas flick, Krampus: The Reckoning is a good choice in that regard only. In every other movie watching urge, I would stay as far away from this as I possibly could.
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