"Yo A$$ is Gra$$: Tales From a Redneck Gangsta" Book Review
Written by Jimmy Pudge
2011, 80 pages, Horror
Released on August 4th, 2011
Do you want gory horror? Try a zombie chomping down on a man's testicles. Craving hillbilly noir? It doesn't get any darker than two rednecks trying to score some meth so they can get it on with a trailer park prostitute that just happens to be the cousin of one of them. In the mood for some sinister humor? A man asks: "She got any STDs?" Calmly, his friend replies: "None that'll kill you." All of the preceding comes from just one of the eight stories in Jimmy Pudge's Yo A$$ is Gra$$: Tales From a Redneck Gangsta. The rest of the collection goes down the same horrific road and the author includes all the classic elements of horror: zombies, vampires, death, cannibalism, gore and otherworldly beings.
Yo A$$ is Gra$$ comes out of the gate fast with "Everything She Touch Turn To Doo Doo," a story about love, blood and crack. When the narrator, a drug dealer living with his mom in a trailer, meets the beautiful Trudy Boo, his world is very quickly turned into one of bloody oral action and slavery. When he grows tired of losing blood and cooking crack for his captor, vegetable oil will become his salvation.
"The Parade" takes readers away from vampirism and into a sleepy town in the middle of nowhere. A young couple on their way home from their honeymoon stop by and get seduced by the idea of making some quick cash. However, the strange parade the townsfolk invite them to participate in is in honor of a strange deity and the couple might not make it home with the cash after all.
Things go from weird to weirder in "The Wine, The Bitch, and the Broom Closet," a tale about a convict who while cleaning bathrooms and floors on a library, meets the woman of his dreams and follows her through a strange door. By the time the crook walks out of the library that day, naked and bloody, he'll have learned a lesson that's tough to forget: some things refuse to stay dead.
While Pudge is all about sex and humor, "Good Omen" is a nice departure from that: a narrative that explores the depths of human greed. In a way, the tale is also a tip of the hat to that thing some folks refer to as karma. Despite the philosophical subtexts, the story still packs enough death and gore to be considered horror.
"Pissing the Night Away" is the tale I referred to in the opening paragraph. Arguably of the strangest, darkest hillbilly noir stories out there, this one has it all: drugs, prostitution, meth, bodily fluids, attempted necrophilia, dark humor, a zombie and a trailer.
In "Bob's Country Store," a man finds himself in the back of a truck after passing out drunk. The redneck that has kidnapped him takes him home and things get very nasty very fast. The narrator is forced to satisfy the needs of an obese woman who's hungry for much more than sex. Violence, sex and cannibalism meet here in a very entertaining way.
"I Wish That I Had Jeffrey's Girl" might just be the creepiest, saddest lesbian love story even told in short fiction form. Pudge explores the dangerous limits of jealousy and obsession without losing his trademark gore and fast pacing.
The collection comes to a close with "Stone Cold," a narrative that brings together the best noir elements of old-school private detective novels and mixes them with a gorgon, an ongoing investigation, deceit and that need for warmth and companionship that all creatures seem to share.
With 8 stories packed into 80 pages, Yo A$$ is Gra$$ is a quick, amusing read that's as comical and bizarre as it's sinister and gloomy. Pudge has a knack for mixing cheerless atmospheres with humor and the book can be read in the time it takes to watch a movie but for a fraction of the price, so you should get a copy right now.
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