War Games DVD Review
Directed by Cosimo Alemà
Written by Cosimo Alemà and Daniele Persica
2010, Region 2 (PAL), 93 minutes, Rated 18 (UK)
DVD released on 3rd October 2011
Stephanie Chapman-Baker as Lara
Sam Cohan as Alex
Valene Kane as Monica
Neil Linpow as Riko
Lutz Michael as Uncle
Kids You Don't Care About Get Killed By People Who Aren't Scary in the latest offering from Universal Pictures’ Indi Vision label. And it’s an irredeemably formulaic film that’s high on déjà vu and low on new ideas.
We’re introduced to The People Who Aren’t Scary in the opening of the film, as they bury land mines in the rain. One has a bent nose and a London accent, the other sounds vaguely German and may well be imparting his wisdom on Bent-Nose, if it wasn’t for the fact I couldn’t understand a bloody word he was saying. It transpires that Bent-Nose is Mumble’s nephew and they like to shoot dogs for fun. Or they did. During a dog-shooting frolic, Bent-Nose dispatches a wounded pooch before muttering, “It’s no fun with dogs any more”. The direction of the film could only be more obvious if he then turned to camera and said, “You can tell where this one is going, can’t you?”
How handy then that The Kids You Don’t Care About have decided to take their plastic pellet guns to the very same woods to play at soldiers?
Here come the War Games of the title!
It says a lot about a film when you can’t remember the names of any of the characters. There are two British guys (bearded), two sisters one with a voice like a man (no beard), a blonde girl, an American guy (beard) and another American guy who’s name is Chico, or Rico. I can remember this because they shout at him for cheating. Or maybe because he doesn’t have a beard.
You know the score by now; Kids play soldiers in the woods, kids find shack littered with non-specific meat cuts, decorated by Crazy Dude Hideouts Inc., bad men come and pick them off, kids fight back, bad guys lose. Hurrah! The only redeeming thing about this paint-by-numbers backwoods-survival horror is that the last woman standing (it just has to be a woman, doesn’t it?) buys the farm just before the credits roll, so there’s no chance of a sequel. Yeah, that’s a spoiler. Sue me.
Video and Audio:
Both audio and video are solid, but will do nothing to improve the viewing experience. The picture has the now commonplace yellowish aged look to it, which I suppose is to make it look gritty and dirty like the killers’ hideout. The 5.1 audio track is particularly good, with the war games scenes creating a good surround effect.
A director’s commentary is available, should you wish to listen to his thoughts on the making of the film, along with a stills gallery and the original trailer.