The Wickeds DVD Review

Written by Daniel Benson

Released by Screen Entertainment

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Directed by John Poague
Written by David Zagorski
2005, 94 Minutes, Rated - 18 (UK)

Starring:
Justin Alvarez as Jake
Anna Bridgforth as Julie
Danny Darder as Richard
Gabrielle Dennis as Kate
Bryan Donoghue as Billy
Ryan Foster as Hippie Zombie
Ron Jeremy as Gus

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The Story

Seven kids head to a deserted house, in the middle of nowhere, that has been used as the set for a cheesy horror movie. After breaking into the house and messing around with the discarded props, a couple of the group head off upstairs for some good old-fashioned pre-marital sex.

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Meanwhile, in a nearby cemetery, grave robbers Gus (Ron Jeremy) and Billy (Bryan Donoghue) are unearthing the recently deceased in search of a mystical amulet. Finally, Gus finds the coffin they are looking for and, upon opening it, the pair are surprised to see that the body within is remarkably well preserved for its age. As Billy follows Gus’ orders to grab the amulet, the body sits up and bites him on the arm. Grabbing the treasure they start running out of the graveyard, but their actions have woken the residents and there is nowhere left to run except a deserted house nearby.

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When they reach the house, they join forces with the kids already there to create a stronghold and try to work out some way to survive. Outside, things are going from bad to worse. As Billy so eloquently puts it; “I see lots of Dead People”.

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Thoughts

Oh dear.

It turns out that, when he’s not hanging out of the back end of a silicone enhanced ‘babe’, Ron Jeremy likes to zip up his hogger and turn his hand to the low-budget horror genre. A movie in which Ron is the biggest billed name should be approached with a certain amount of trepidation. After all, he’s famous for one thing, and one thing only: having a fat cock.

And yet, despite the fact that he should stink as an actor, and this movie should suck, it all works rather well. We’re not talking a horror classic by any stretch of the imagination, but director Jon Poague has certainly created something which is well-paced and has some shockingly good gore effects considering the evidently minute budget.

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It’s a simple story; A group of people holed up in a remote house fending off the living dead. The cast is nicely populated with two-dimensional zombie fodder and as each one succumbs to their fate, the viewer is treated to a nicely executed special effects gag. Throw in some gratuitous tit-shots and tenuous conflict between the characters and you have a vaguely entertaining formula.

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The Wickeds plays out as a parody of the movies it pays homage to. Because it is self derisive it works so much better than if the viewer is expected to take it as a serious attempt at filmmaking. Not scary, not well-written, not particularly well shot, but damn if it doesn’t easily kill 90 minutes.

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Audio

Provided by a Dolby Digital 2.0 soundtrack which is nothing other than unremarkable.

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Video

The movie was shot on DV, so overall, the picture is typically clear and well defined. The colour saturation is pretty horrible and extremely washed out. There are noticeable artefacts throughout and one frame was just a complete mess of green pixels around the 22 minute mark.

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Special Features

Just a trailer, and a showcase of other Screen Entertainment titles.

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Grades:

Movie: Twostars
Video: Onestar
Audio: Twostars
Features: Onestar
Overall: Twostars

Want to comment on this review? Head over to the Horrortalk Review Forum.

About The Author
Dj Pic
UK Editor / Webmaster
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Fuelled mostly by coffee and a pathological desire to rid the world of bad grammar, Daniel has found his calling by picking holes in other people's work. In the rare instances he's not editing, he's usually breaking things in the site's back end.
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