Strangers Online Movie Review
Written by TGM
DVD released by Breaking Glass Pictures
Directed by John Huckert
Written by John Huckert, John Matkowsky, and Dan Acre
2009, 108 minutes, Not Rated
DVD released on July 5th, 2011
Noel Palomaria as Hollace Parker
Tara Killian as Karen
Eva Frajko as Laura
Michael Waite as Zeke
Nansi Aluka as Jenny
P.W. Aubrey as Mr. Ben Watt
Strangers Online starts off well enough, showcasing a controversial late night radio show about sexual deviants, perverts, and exhibitionists who clog the phone lines (and Skype connections) with impure thoughts, lustful confessions, violent tendencies, forbidden desires, and twisted role playing fantasies. The host, Brick Lunkhead, err, Hollace Parker, referees the proceedings with all the charisma of a fart in a spacesuit. Of course, he is not immune to his own controversial past, having been the prime suspect in his girlfriend’s murder years earlier. Or maybe it was a few weeks ago… quite honestly it’s difficult to tell. At any rate, despite the occasional sweaty nightmare, he seemingly rebounded quite nicely with none other than his murdered ex’s best friend. Stay classy. To further complicate matters, Hollace’s new assistant, a nubile young blonde, begins to take an unhealthy interest in him all while his latest girlfriend gets off on flirting with the mentally challenged next door neighbor. Think Talk Radio and I Am Sam meets Fatal Attraction by way of chat roulette.
Before all of the inane crap with Hollace’s new assistant and his girlfriend hits the fan, there is a split second where you think that this movie is actually going to be promising. It’s the moment when Hollace is chatting with a fantastically disturbing creep wearing nothing more than a translucent Halloween mask who just happens to broadcast the apparent murder of his old lady while live on the air. Unfortunately this particular plot goes nowhere fast, and the most interesting character in the entire movie is never seen or heard from again. The rest of the film primarily deals with the aforementioned blonde assistant’s desire to bed Hollace (and everyone else at the station) and supplant the current girlfriend as his one true love. Yawn. It’s all rather tedious and tired.
Despite being shot in 2009, Strangers Online has the look and feel of a mediocre early ‘90s episode of Red Shoe Diaries or a Skin-a-max After Dark flick that prompted prepubescent boys to watch with squinted eyes thru the static infused haze of a scrambled signal for the oft chance at a glimpse of side-boob. One of the few things that Strangers Online does have going for it, however, is that some of the actresses are actually quite attractive which is often NOT the case when dealing with low budget films. Nothing worse than watching flesh colored manatee’s slog through trite dialogue while trying to be sensual, and while the acting isn’t completely horrendous, the male lead unfortunately stumbles through his lines with the cadence of a Speak & Spell.
Strangers Online markets itself as a sultry erotic thriller. The fact is, it’s about as sexy as that time you were paid fifty cents to shave the corns off your grandmother’s feet. Maybe less.
Video, Audio and Special features:
Video, audio and special features will not be graded as this was a screener, however my copy was in disappointing non-anamorphic widescreen which is something I hope was addressed in the final release.