Burying the Ex Movie Review
Written by Richelle Charkot
DVD released by Image Entertainment
Directed by Joe Dante
Written by Alan Trezza
2014, 89 minutes, Rated R
Theatrical and VOD released on June 19th, 2015 | DVD released on August 4th, 2015
Anton Yelchin as Max
Ashley Greene as Evelyn
Alexandra Daddario as Olivia
Oliver Cooper as Travis
Maybe I’m getting my period and it’s inhibiting my ability to use my feeble lady brain, but I am pretty sure that Burying the Ex is one of the most male-fantasy, gotta-find-my-pixie-dream-girl pieces of garbage I have seen in a long time. This borderline unwatchable movie is flimsily at best due to its extremely weak characters, specifically the main females; Greene playing the ‘ex’ named Evelyn, a moody and controlling environmentalist blogger, and Daddario as Olivia, the “cool girl” who just wants to talk about horror movies, drink beer and give our hero a bunch of blow-jobs all of the time, probably.
Max is having some trouble with his girlfriend, Evelyn. Being the laid-back dude that he is, he finds himself uncomfortable and annoyed by her consistent obsessive behaviour and tendency to make all of his decisions for him, such as what he eats and where he goes when he’s not at work. After the two wander into a charming ice cream parlour and find the head-banging Olivia behind the counter, it dawns on Max that he needs to make a change and break up with Evelyn. When his attempt to meet her and dump her in a park goes a little awry when she’s hit by a bus, he then has an amazing first date with Olivia a few days later. Everything seems well and good for our nerdy ‘hero’, but then he comes home to find that Evelyn has resurrected and wants to spend eternity together.
Movies like this concern me. Evelyn and Olivia are such poor depictions of women that it makes me wonder why the actresses agreed to do such a demeaning project. The Evelyn character is made to be a villain in spite of the fact that she’s an over-exaggerated caricature of an insecure girl who likes things like yoga and vegetables, and the Olivia character is an outrageous inclusion, as she acts simultaneously as Max’s mother, caretaker and super-horny lover. She brings him a sandwich when he’s hungover, she tells him that she understands him and gives him gems of advice any time she can (but not in a way that would offend his sensibilities and be overbearing), but also bangs him in her car and wants to make-out all of the time, everywhere.
Piled onto this mountain of trash is bad dialogue and underwhelming jokes, adding to the overall amateur feeling of the entire film. It is not poorly acted, but the script is already so blinding that nothing could save it. This movie feels like it was written by a fourteen-year-old boy who just had his heartbroken, flicked on TV and caught a few minutes of soft-core porn after his parents went to bed, thus forming all kinds of ridiculous assumptions about women.