Bloodlock DVD Review


Written by James "Spez" Ferguson

DVD released by Midnight Releasing

 

 

Directed by William Victor Schotten
Written by Tom McLaughlin
2008, Region 1 (NTSC), 86 Minutes, Not Rated
DVD Released on June 8th, 2010

Starring
Ashley Gallo as Christine
Gregg Biamonte as Luke
Debra Gordon as Edwina
Dominic Koulianos as Barry
Nick Foot as The Master

 

 

Review:

I know the real estate industry is in trouble, but I'm pretty sure it's a buyer's market.  That being said, why the hell would anyone buy a house with a big, locked, steel door in the basement covered in crosses?  Wouldn't you think to ask about that before you dropped the cash on the place?  That clearly didn't happen in Bloodlock where there's a door that...has a bloodlock of some sort.  Christine (Ashley Gallo) and Luke (Gregg Biamonte) move into this house with Christine's whore of a half-sister, Amy, who is having the most boring and least hidden affair in history with Luke.  Some nosy old neighbors bust open the door and release a vampire that looks like he was just kicked off the set of a white version of a Blaxsplotation porno.  Chaos ensues.

Bloodlock goes nowhere from this *brilliant* setup.  It seems like the director was just making it up as he went along.  This vampire comes out and kills Amy and Luke, then peaces out. Instead of moving on, as all of her problems are basically solved by this creature, Christine decides that she has to take down the vampire.  There is absolutely no reason for her to go after this thing.  She partners with a locksmith who she met earlier in the flick in an effort to open the bloodlocked door.  They fall for each other after a few hours, which is forced considering they have no onscreen chemistry at all.

 

 

Meanwhile, the pair are manipulated by one of the neighbors who opened the door who had his eye on immortality.  Picture that completely harmless old guy that greets you as you enter Wal-Mart.  Now try to imagine him threatening you with a gun that he doesn't know how to hold.  Incredibly scary, right?

The only redeeming quality in the flick is the makeup effects on the vampire's first kill.  That is actually a halfway decent scene with some pretty impressive gore for a low budget film such as this.  That makes up maybe a minute tops.  The other 85 are pure garbage.  Seriously, the vampire doesn't come in until halfway through the movie, by which time I had totally lost interest in the characters.  The acting is piss-poor.  The story goes nowhere.  The twist ending makes no damn sense.

Bloodlock is a bad movie.  It's not a movie that's so bad, it's good.  It's just awful.  I have watched many films and I have had to endure quite a few stinkers in my tenure as a staff reviewer here at HorrorTalk.  That being said, I say without a doubt that Bloodlock is the worst movie I have ever seen.

 

 

Video and Audio:

 

The video is passable for a low budget movie.  It is okay, but nothing special.  The audio is similar.  The filmmakers at least seemed to use some decent equipment.  They clearly had some audio problems,  though, because there are several scenes with some poorly done dubbing.

 

 

Special Features:

 

There is a 25 minute behind-the-scenes featurette that consists solely of the cast and crew being douchebags in front of the camera and making gay jokes.  I was hoping to find some sort of redeeming quality here that would provide some sort of insight into low budget filmmaking.  Instead I was treated to a half-hearted rendition of Tenacious D's "Double Team" and a bunch of shots of people standing around.  There are two commentaries here, one by the director and one with the cast and crew.  I couldn't bring myself to sit through the movie a second or third time after having to go through it once.

 

 

Grades:

 


Movie:
Video:
Audio:
Features:
Overall:

 

 

Want to comment on this review? You can leave one below or head over to the HorrorTalk Review Forum.

 

 

 

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About The Author
James Ferguson
Lord of the Funny Books
James has a 2nd grade reading level and, as a result, only reads books with pictures. Horror is his 5th favorite genre right after romantic comedy and just before silent films. No one knows why he's here, but he won't leave.
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