Babysitter Massacre Movie Review

 

Written by Jersey John


DVD released by Independent Entertainment

 

 

 

Written and directed by Henrique Cuoto
2013, 78 minutes, Not Rated
DVD released on October 15th, 2014

Starring:
Erin R. Ryan as Angela
Marylee Osborne as Bianca
Haley Madison as Cassandra
Stephanie Coffey as Allison

 

 

 

Review:

 

In the horror community, everyone loves a good throwback. When a director pays homage to the hay days of horror, I immediately have a deep respect for that individual. Whether it be through the lack of CGI or retro-style filmmaking (Ti West's House of the Devil comes to mind) films that steal from their predecessors and reinvent them for the modern era of horror are ones that tent to stand the test of times. So when I saw a movie titled Babysitter Massacre, I just excited about a premise that has been revisited many times but few have managed to leave a lasting impression on me. I probably shouldn't have let my nostalgia get he best of me and just have put on Halloween for the 100th time.

 

Writer/director Henrique Couto tells a story of a group of young babysitters who, years prior, endured the death of a friend. As time has passed and they all approach college, someone has begun to kill each member of the group on Halloween. As the night progresses and each meets their untimely end, they learn that the killer has been closer to them than they could have ever imagined.

 

 

 

 

At first, Babysitter Massacre feels campy, with its minimal cast, straight forward plot of babysitters getting systematically offed as the movie transpires and cheesy dialogue. Gore wasn't done in a way that is particularly believable, but I was able to look past that. The most lacking part of this film is the plot. Even as the credits rolled, I looked back on the time I spent watching this and realized that there wasn't really anything going on. The climax and twist at the end has little to no effect on the rest of the story and left me feeling cheated of the time I spent with this film. Also: boobs. The film is littered with them. While the prepubescent hiding in me always enjoys a nice rack in any film, the amount of chesticles bordered on softcore porn status. I'm almost tempted to leave this in the kid section of a random Walmart.

 

Henrique Couto's Babysitter Massacre could have been a film to look back on as paying respect to great horror filmmakers of the past while putting its own edge on a genre-specific piece. Instead, what is delivered is a plot that misses the mark, shoddy acting and rampant nudity that, while no one will complain, is completely unnecessary in the film in the first place. So if you're feeling like reminiscing one evening (or actually enjoy a film), you may want to skip Couto's Babysitter Massacre and grab something like The Toolbox Murders. Or some porn. Whatever you're in the mood for.

 

 

 

Grades:

 

Movie: twostars Cover
Buy from Amazon US
Cover
buy-amazon-video

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to comment on this review? You can leave one below or head over to the HorrorTalk Review Forum.

 

 

 

About The Author
Jersey John
Staff Writer
Blogger, podcaster, stand up comedian, opinionated asshole, lover of double bass, left-wing liberal and crusher of the dreams of children. When he isn't pointing and laughing at the shortcomings of your offspring, Jersey John partakes in the finer things life has to offer: bacon cheeseburgers, online gaming and watching as cannibal zombies eat your family in slow motion. On repeat. In 3D.
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