Attack of the Killer Donuts Movie Review
Written by Ali Chappell
Released by Level 33 Entertainment
Directed by Scott Wheeler
Written by Nathan Dalton, Chris De Christopher, and Rafael Diaz-Wagner
2017, 98 minutes, Not Rated
Released on November 17th, 2017
Justin Ray as Johnny
Michael Swan as Uncle Luther
Kayla Compton as Michelle
Burt Rutherford as Brian
Lauren Compton as Veronica
I know what you’re thinking. Based on the title alone, you’re probably thinking that Attack of the Killer Donuts is going to be great. You would be correct. It’s not a masterpiece by any means, but my God, it is entertaining.
This adventure starts with our lead player, Johnny (Justin Ray), who lives with his mother and has a girlfriend, Veronica (Lauren Compton), that he is obsessed with. Like actually obsessed. Her pictures are plastered over his room. Not cute. His best fried and co-worker at Dandy’s Donuts is Michelle (Kayla Compton). The girl that he should obviously be with. All signs point to YES when it comes to Michelle. Dandy’s Donuts is very reminiscent of a donut shop in South Oshawa that used to have this deal where for $20 they would just give you 50 donuts. It’s long gone, but I still dream of them. Sometimes, when the wind hits me just right in that neighborhood, I can still smell the dough frying and the faint overture of cigarette smoke. Sorry, I digress. We learn that Johnny has a mad scientist, Uncle Luther (Michael Swan), who lives with them, similar to Rick from Rick and Morty. They get into an argument about him taking Johnny’s tablet all the time. Also, it’s clearly a laptop, stop calling it a tablet. In a heated rage, Uncle Luther confronts Johnny at the donut shop, gets into a fight with the owner and during said fight a very cartoony Simpsons-looking rod of plutonium or something (not overly explained what it is, but it’s not good) accidentally gets thrown into the donut deep fryers. Contaminating all the delicious donuts. The donuts progressively start attacking everybody with their adorable little teeth, causing chaos in this small town! Michelle and Johnny have to band together with the local police officers and Johnny’s buddy, Brian (Burt Rutherford), who is clearly obsessed with Johnny’s mom, and fight these donuts and save the town!
Side note: We quickly, like in the first second of meeting Veronica, know that she’s a cheating bitch who is using him for money. Giving us cool girls a bad rep! Obviously, in true romcom form, DUDE realizes that it was Michelle who he should’ve been with all along.
This film, along with the poster art, is fun. They remind me of my days going to video stores and renting old movies based on the awesome ‘80s cover art. Also, shut up, I grew up in a small town, we still had video stores well into my college years. They only just got rid of the five-year-old, empty Blockbuster store a few months ago. This movie deserves to be released on VHS, even just as a novelty. Honestly, it has heart, it plays into all the tropes of video store B-list films, where you rented a film based on the cover. The acting is fine, each character knows the classic roles they are playing (i.e. girl next door, hot dumb bitch, hopeless male lead, etc.) and it works for this type of movie.
If you are looking for a movie that has some meat to it, then maybe Attack of the Killer Donuts isn’t for you. However, if you want a night where you can partake in recreational substances and eat a dozen while laughing your butt off, THIS is what you are looking for. Now excuse I need to hit up a Tim Hortons and get a mess of donuts because that is all I want now.
Tim Hortons is the [better] Canadian version of Dunkin’ Donuts. Fight me on it, hoser! I grew up on hockey brawls!