2016 08 06 Rjs Top 10

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The Top 10 Horror Movies on Amazon Prime for Free That I Would Watch Before I'd Watch Rob Zombie's Halloween

Written by R.J. MacReady

Welcome to the second edition of the irregular "The Top 10 Horror Movies on Amazon Prime for Free That I Would Watch Before I'd Watch Rob Zombie's Halloween" column.

Now, some of you have said, "Hey, wait a minute! We like Zombie's Halloween! He's a genius!" So I'd like to welcome back all those mentally-handicapped people checking out this column. I'm sorry you've been told your opinion can't be wrong, because you just definitively disproved that.

Did I mention that my views don't necessarily reflect HorrorTalk's views? So complain to me, not to them. My email is This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

This list is mostly going to spotlight a lot of B and super low-budget films, so if you don't like that kind of movie, then you're not going to want to watch these. For everybody else, give them a shot.

If you aren't a member of Amazon Prime, you can sign up for a FREE 30 day trial by clicking here. -Ed.

 

The VoicesBuy Amazon Video

The Voices

Okay, right off the bat I'm full of shit, right? This isn't a B-movie, or low budget. It stars that guy who redeemed himself by doing Deadpool, plus that other girl from Pitch Perfect and that really hot chick from the horrible remake of Clash of the Titans. But this is one bizarre, quirky horror dramady. Honestly, I don't know what to call it. It's weird. But I liked it.

Or maybe the Voices just told me I did.

 

Dead EndBuy Amazon Video

Dead End

This is a weird one. I was going to put this on my first list a couple of weeks ago, but I looked at the poster and said...is that the movie I'm thinking of, with Ray Wise? So I looked it up...and that poster is NOT the Ray Wise movie. So I took it off. Then I looked at the actual movie listing and it says Ray Wise is in it. I'm not sure why it has the wrong Dead End movie poster, but it's the right movie.

 

Bounty CoverBuy Amazon Video

Bounty

This found-footage flick set in real-life Gotham City, Baltimore, Maryland, is like Dog the Bounty Hunter show if crazy shit happened in the Dog the Bounty Hunter show. Go watch it and pretend it's a documentary.

 

House On Haunted HillBuy Amazon Video

House on Haunted Hill

Vincent Price was THE MAN. That guy was such a cool, creepy dude and this movie puts that to good use. A William Castle film that's still considered a great horror movie.

 

House HuntingBuy Amazon Video

House Hunting

Beastmaster himself, Marc Singer, is in this. That's enough to go check it out, right? Right. But it's actually a pretty entertaining little flick.

 

Attack Of The Giant LeechesBuy Amazon Video

Attack of the Giant Leeches

This would be the most terrifying movie you ever saw if you were six years old. Trust me. If, however, you're older than six then go get high and watch this. Highly enjoyable.

 

GrizzlyBuy Amazon Video

Grizzly

Grizzly is like Jaws on land, if Jaws sucked. So it's more like Jaws 4 if Jaws was on land. Okay, I'm being a little hard on it. It's fun in that '70s way, but it's a bit dated. Still, better than Zombie's Halloweens. Yeah, I hit both of 'em just now.

 

Incident At Loch NessBuy Amazon Video

Incident at Loch Ness

It's on the horror list, but not really a horror flick. A pseudo-documentary by Werner Herzog about him seeking out the Loch Ness Monster. If you don't know who that is, then picture this: What if Michael Moore put out a documentary where he claimed he had actual footage of Dick Cheney cornholing George W. Bush. You'd be like...is that real? Well, watch this.

 

Deadly BlessingBuy Amazon Video

Deadly Blessing

Okay, not low budget. But this is one of those nearly-forgotten Wes Craven flicks featuring scary stuff like Ernest Borgnine as a less-believable Amish guy than Harrison Ford, a still-hot Sharon Stone, and that other hot girl who played Athena in the original Battlestar Galactica.

I mean, watch it here free or go get the Scream Factory Blu-ray. Whatever, as long as you don't click on cry-baby Michael Myers.

 

Ticked Off Trannies With KnivesBuy Amazon Video

Ticked-Off Trannies with Knives

I think I'll make this my thing. The tenth movie being a movie I haven't seen but with a great title. I mean...it tells you everything you need to know right there in the title. They're ticked-off trannies...WITH KNIVES. What else do you need to know?

 

See you next time!

 

 

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About The Author
Rj Macready Staff
Staff Writer
RJ MacReady digs horror movies, even though his first memory of horror films is watching the first Friday the 13th movie while a bear mauled his family in the other room. He admits that most of his bio is as fake as his moniker, but witness protection won't let him use his real name.
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