Written by Eddie Generous
I've written about horror movie series going to space before.
Most times it's probably just the easiest avenue of newness for a series. When it feels like you've slashed and bashed all else, why not do it in space? Bad idea, maybe. Meh, more likely.
I think space opens new doors on the kooky, and sometimes a story could use a bit of kooky. Especially if it's been around a long time and has any story at all (Halloween probably couldn't go to space because Michael Myers is pretty much a robot with no motive or personality, like being chased by a piece of wood). Jason, the Leprechaun, Critters, Pinhead, sure space wasn't their finest frontier, but I'd still rather watch Jason Voorhees turn into Mechajason than watch another found footage clunker or CGI barf show.
As for the aforementioned, we're missing someone aren't we?
One two, Freddy's coming for you.
Three four, where's the knock at the hatch door?
He hasn't gone there, but he could, I could probably dream it up…
Heather Langenkamp as Tina
Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger
- Children sing Nightmare theme, foggy backdrop of ruined urban landscape.
- Feet crunch, bare over crumbled asphalt, woman (Tina) looking around, she's scared, she follows the music, walking, there's a widening fissure in the road beneath her, she drops to her knees to investigate the darkness and the song coming from therein, a slimy tongue whips out and enters her mouth. X-ray vision: tongue squeezes heart.
- Tina sits up in her tiny pod bed, sweaty, scare, another of the crew steps into her little metal space, says,
"Time to work, Tina."
- Tina standing in line with others, all dressed in carbon spacesuits, big door opens and each cart a toolkit out onto the post-apocalyptic Earth landscape, walking, looking around, Tina is scared because it seems too much like her dream, something steel tinks beneath her boot, she bends, picks up small, bent, rectangular sign, she brushes it off and reads aloud,
- Sign goes into kit and she continues on, her area is an old junk yard, car and truck husks and skeleton frames litter the landscape, she digs not quite at random as she can almost hear a siren song on the wind, she finds a single razor claw, collects it, a voice comes through her intercom,
"Tina, time to come home."
- Tina takes her kit onto the ship, while the crew of nine eat, they discuss the new orders to head back to the base, much sexual innuendo in chatter. The ship is already traveling at light speed.
- A trio in a different room have sex, two dudes and one woman, it's the future so nothing is faux-pas and the ratings council can't complain, spent, the woman lies back while the men continue to party beneath the sheets, she hears music…
"One two, Freddy's coming for you."
- In her pod, Tina looks up Elm Street, finds ancient data, high school yearbook pictures of a teenager who looks eerily like she had just a couple decades prior.
- Back to dreamer,
"Three four, better lock you door."
- There is a man chasing the dreamer, he has claws and a hideously burned face, and…
See, it could work, and it would be entertaining, but alas, it's probably not meant to be, I guess we'll just have to live with the earthbound Freddy revisits and new slashers, very much like those found in the recently released collection that I coauthored with Mark Allan Gunnells and Renee Miller titled Splish, Slash, Takin' a Bloodbath, available now in eBook and paperback.
HorrorTalk would like to thank Eddie for sharing this great list with us! Be sure to pick up Splish, Slash, Takin' a Bloodbath by clicking one of the links below.
Eddie Generous is a coauthor of the slasher collection Splish, Slash, Takin' a Bloodbath (written with Mark Allan Gunnells and Renee Miller) as well as of Dead is Dead, but Not Always (available this spring from Hellbound Books), he runs Unnerving and Unnerving Magazine, and he lives on the Pacific Coast of British Columbia with his wife and their cat overlords.