Category: Movie Reviews
Written by Ryan Holloway
Published on Sunday, 16 September 2012 14:35
Dragon Wasps DVD Review
Written by Ryan Holloway
DVD released by Chelsea Films
Directed by Joe Knee
Written by Mark Atkins & Rafael Jordan
2012, Region 2 (PAL), 78 minutes, Rated 15 (UK)
DVD released on 17th September 2012
Corin Nemec as John Hammond
Dominika Juillet as Gina Humphries
Benjamin Easterday as Meyers
Nikolette Noel as Rhonda Gutierrez
Cosondra Sjostrom as Yates
Why bother with a script, or even an outline? Why write in over 90 pages what you can easily say in two words? DRAGON WASPS! Will there be giant wasps? YES! Scientists who happen to be inexplicably hot? YES! The male lead played by the obligatory “I’ve seen him in something before” 30-something actor? YES YES!!
Snakes are so over, crocodiles have been done, badgers don’t really work and sharks are just lazy. What else you got? Giant wasps that breathe fire? Awesome. Released on DVD by Chelsea Films, Dragon Wasps is the latest in the monster/disaster genre that seems to know no limits and, to be honest, I couldn’t be happier; long may this ridiculous sub-genre of super beasties vs hot scientist babes continue. It’s a guilty pleasure to be sure but a pleasure none the less.
Gina (Dominika Juillet) goes searching for her scientist father who disappeared some 3 months earlier in the Belize rainforest, with her goes her heavily made up assistant Rhonda (Nikolette Noel), apparently even in the jungle a girl can’t go without her make-up....and a trowel. They soon cross land that is government protected and are held by the US Army, led by Officer John Hammond (I know, I know) played by Corin Nemec, clearly having fun having just dusted himself down after battling Sand Sharks. Hammond and his team decide to help the girls out but end up dragging them into a bloody feud with the rainforest’s guerrilla military, lead by the black magic-using Jaguar. But guess what? There’s a deadlier foe in the shape of blurry 6 ft wasps.
We have no idea why the wasps are as big as a they are – something to do with genetics and some DNA tampering, I forget, but it’s not at all important and as usual no one seems hugely shocked at the sight of such beasts, taking them in their stride and being more concerned with the voodoo worshiping Jaguar who relentlessly pursues our hero to kill him and his men in revenge for the death of his own soldiers.
It starts to become tedious when BOOM a second wasp attack and then back to the original search for Gina’s dad. We are then treated to some nice, long awaited, bits of goo and gore to ensure you just about make it to the end of the 1hr 18min run time.
As you would expect the acting is appalling and the script is sewn together by cliché and lines from every scifi/ horror film you’ve ever seen, but it happens to be stupidly fun and has some genuinely skin crawling moments. The cast, Corin aside, often look like they are reading the script from just off camera and are nothing more than fodder for heavy gun fire or a, disappointingly infrequent wasp attack.
Thankfully there is still plenty to keep you amused between action sequences and who can argue with a film that boasts some simply brilliant dialogue, for example while carrying a giant wasp through the jungle, Rhonda utters the words “I have bug juice in places you don’t wanna know” and I have to admit to chuckling to myself when Hammond passionately cries “Nobody touches my men but me!”, it’s this knowingness however that prevents the film from being completely awful and despite set design that wouldn’t look out of place on “I’m a Celebrity”, the only let down is that the wasps look like they are straight out of a CBBC production and often blurred to hide the bad workmanship.
If you’re a fan of the genre then you’ll be plenty entertained by Dragon Wasps, its pretty throwaway but is well worth looking up and could at least inspire you to write your own film... Cloud Piranhas anyone?
Video and Audio:
It looks as you’d expect, colourful and bright where a little darkness might not go amiss. The sound is good, especially during the action sequences
Only a trailer on this one, which to be fair makes the film look like Jurassic Park, or at least Jurassic Park 3.
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