Carl's 5-Minute Horror Reviews

[dragonmanes]

Mirrors (2008): The most overrated horror film I have seen in years. Few scares, a plot that combines Thir13en Ghosts with the original Boogeyman, and a whole lot of CG. An ex-detective takes a job as a night security officer at a burnt out department store, only to find out that the mirrors of the store are haunted and have killed many people. He figures out its a ghost and a new character is introduced in the final 4th of the film that solves the J-horror-esque mystery. This film would have been infinitely better in a much smaller scope or if it had been done by the Japanese. The production feels bigger than the plot itself, similar to how I felt about Dead Silence. Really, the plot is just an elaborate take on The Boogeyman, and is no better with only a few redeeming gore moments. See it to decide if I'm wrong, but I probably wont watch this film again. 7/10 for production, 6/10 for entertainment.

[dragonmanes]

Had the opportunity to speak with horror legend Judith O'Dea over the weekend, posted the interview on my blog if anyone is interested:

http://i-like-horror-movies.blogspot.com/

[dragonmanes]

American Gothic (1988): Actually a fun, cheesy slasher in the vein of Motel Hell and Mother's Day. A group of friends run into a deranged family in the woods, where the conservative parents have stunted their middle-aged adult children's mental capacities to that of adolescents. Dont cross Ma or Pa though, or its off with your head! Confident acting in this 80s oddity, with a few laughable deaths and plenty of popcorn fun. Superior to many of the other late-era slasher flicks, and recommended to Motel Hell fans. 7/10.

[dragonmanes]

Wishmaster (1997): One of the rare occasions where I have been blown away by CG in a horror film. Kurtzman's combination of physical and visual effects make for stunning visual storytelling, coupled with competent acting and directing. Wishmaster was definitely one of the better 90s flicks, with Divoff introducing a smart and sinister new villain along with a killer cast of cameos. It is a fanboy's dream and always comes recommended. An evil Djinn is awaken to grant wishes, but Alexandra must find a way to destroy him before making the third wish and unleashing hell on earth. 8/10.

[dragonmanes]

A Taste of Blood (1967): AKA 'A Taste of Boring Dracula Retread,' this Lewis flick offers little blood in place of a modern Dracula yawn where Dracula's descendant drinks from a bottle of blood/cognac left to him by his Grandfather, only to have the Dracula blood in him rewaken to stalk and kill the Helsing descendants in bloody revenge. Sounds much cooler than it plays out, and is an extreme chore to watch at 118m. There is a valid effort made with lighting and makeup on a presumably $0 budget, but in the end it is a tired derivitive that has been done better before and after this film. 4/10.

[dragonmanes]

Doomed to Die (1940): Karloff returns as Mr. Wong to solve the murder of a business tycoon killed in cold blood in his office. Much more of a murder/mystery than a horror film, but it offers an ok build and typical pulp 40s acting/dialogue, at least enough to carry the feature. Superior lighting effects lend the film stark contrast, adding to the visual appeal. Leave this one to the horror noir crowd, not much to offer the common gore hound. 6/10.

[dragonmanes]

Quarantine (2008): With all the complaints I heard about this film, I expected a trainwreck, which it was not. The drag at the beginning I feel strengthens the films integrity, not only introducing the characters but establishing that this is 'real' and not an edited work of fiction. Im sure the biggest complaint involves the pacing and structure, which admittedly slows to a crawl at points, but keep in mind the film is called Quarantine, not Rabid People Kill Everyone. The majority of the film and terror focuses on the aspect of being locked off from society and marginalized for fear of contagion. Taken from this perspective, the addition of the diseased only adds to the suspense and thrill. There are many smart moments where the film maintains its visage, with the camera being dropped, the mic going out, and the blood smears on the lense, which again add strength to the 'hyper-realism' aspect of the film. The diseased themselves are absolutely terrifying, and many of the scares are completely unexpected, and created strictly through visuals and camera work, not cheap sound effects. Add to that competent, believeable acting and you have a winner in my opinion. Smart, scary, believeable, all words I would use to describe the film. A newscrew are trapped in a condemned building full of bloodthirsty tenants when they tag along with a group of firefighters for a new story. 8/10.

[Alien Redrum]

Quarantine (2008): With all the complaints I heard about this film, I expected a trainwreck, which it was not. The drag at the beginning I feel strengthens the films integrity, not only introducing the characters but establishing that this is 'real' and not an edited work of fiction. Im sure the biggest complaint involves the pacing and structure, which admittedly slows to a crawl at points, but keep in mind the film is called Quarantine, not Rabid People Kill Everyone. The majority of the film and terror focuses on the aspect of being locked off from society and marginalized for fear of contagion. Taken from this perspective, the addition of the diseased only adds to the suspense and thrill. There are many smart moments where the film maintains its visage, with the camera being dropped, the mic going out, and the blood smears on the lense, which again add strength to the 'hyper-realism' aspect of the film. The diseased themselves are absolutely terrifying, and many of the scares are completely unexpected, and created strictly through visuals and camera work, not cheap sound effects. Add to that competent, believeable acting and you have a winner in my opinion. Smart, scary, believeable, all words I would use to describe the film. A newscrew are trapped in a condemned building full of bloodthirsty tenants when they tag along with a group of firefighters for a new story. 8/10.

Did you see Rec, by chance?

How does it compare to it?

[dragonmanes]

Ive seen Rec twice and was blown away, I absolutely love it! The only differences I saw in Quarantine were filler or padding to hit the 1.30m mark, with a longer introduction and a few added scenes which only contributed to the film. Rec is still the superior film, since it came first and it had the balls to be 1.10m and cut all filler, but Quarantine is not even close to the mess it is credited as, I thoroughly enjoy both films but will likely rewatch Quarantine more often because Im a lazy stereotypical American that cant sit around reading subs when the baby is half way across the room and dead set on my DVD collection! The two films are practically shot for shot remakes, but unlike the Funny Games remake, this one is functional and the new cast dont detract from the suspension of disbelief.

[Alien Redrum]

Nice!

I shall give it a whirl.

[Neon Maniac]

Is Quarantine a remake of Rec? I haven't seen either of them. I've wanted to see Quarantine, but I'd never heard of Rec.

[dragonmanes]

Yeah shot for shot at that, Rec is out of Spain, but hasnt seen a domestic release just yet. They dont even mention its existence in the special features on the Quarantine DVD outside of the "Based on the film Rec" in the opening credits

Amusement (2008): Conventional slasher that suffers from style over substance. The sets and directing are far superior to the plot, which lacks a voice and identity as it jumps between three story and timelines without deciding if it is a slasher, a revenge flick, or torture porn. There are a few attempts at suspense and gore, but it ultimately fails to gross out or scare. It also fails to give any insight as to how or why the killer can create such intricate traps a la Saw, or why he is killing to begin with (minus a brief flashback). The film just doesnt succeed on any more than a visual staindpoint. A trio of friends are stalked by a mysterious figure from their past in a clown outfit. 6/10.

[Sham]

I agree about Amusement. I thought the flashback was pretty good, but I think the pacing and order of sequences made the film less involving than it should have been. I really got a kick out of that clown segment, though. Great photography and music.

[dragonmanes]

Thats the thing, the director was fully capable, and the costume was subtle but incredibly erie, it just failed to tie everything together in the end. I wanted to like it, but on top of everything else we are never left with a strong lead to empathize with, just a shamble of intercut ideas that are never fully realized.

Saw V (2008): Better than its given credit for, but definitely the weakest in the series. The good: much of the loose ends and gaps intentionally left unfulfilled by the previous films are tied together in a neat little package, with the typical flashbacks and clips to support it. The bad: after five films, the 'new' backstory feels contrived and cheapens Jigsaw's work and integrity as defined by the previous entries. The person left to resume his work is neither as clever or as empathetic, leaving the audience with only the low-life scum set in the new traps to identify with. Overall, it just doesnt function on the same suspenseful adrenaline rush created through the superior character work and thoughful traps that we have come to expect from the series, but it is still superior to most 5th installments and a majority of the torture porn trash being shelled out recently. With Jigsaw dead, the last remaining detective must overcome his own game set by the accomplice that he knows is still at large. 7/10.

[dragonmanes]

Mountain of the Cannibal God (1978): Second only to Cannibal Holocaust, this flick is much more cinematic than its brethren and offers a much more interesting plot with more action and adventure and (seemingly) less forced gore and exploitation. There are still some extreme moments of animal cruelty, perversion, and gut muching, but Martino presents it in a much more polished and tasteful manner. A must see for gore and cannibal fans! A woman hires a crew to help search for her missing husband in the dense jungle, only to be enslaved by the same cannibal tribe that killed him! 8/10.

**BE SURE to watch the interview with Martino on the Ab or BU discs, the editing of his disputing the animal cruelty and explotative sex scenes intercut with the anaconda being hand fed a monkey and a cannibal raping a pig is priceless, one of the single funniest moments in horror VD history!!**